About Citizen McGee



Discovered by nymphomaniac Uranussai (hot fuckin’ aliens that let you put it anywhere…) in 4445 B.C., they named it “Citizen McGee,” which of course in Uranish means “Donkey-Dicked John Goodman.”


I’m lying.

I’m sorry, I was just trying to impress you.

I don’t know what it means.

I’ll be honest, I don’t think anyone knows what it means anymore. The brightest minds in the world maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago…

But I have the brightest and most creative gorillas on the task of unraveling the mystery.

Here is what we know so far:

Citizen McGee was sired under the setting sun on the tranquil beach of Santa Cruz, California. 

The father was an awkward mathematician with a webbed scrotum, and the mother was a filthy drunk whore who had an affinity for sodoku.

They never saw each other again after that… ah hem… magical evening.

But the damage was done.

The demented, diabolical seed of Citizen McGee had been concepted, and the universe would never be the same…


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